The morning after I would look in the mirror and see broken blood vessels on my eyelids (most likely from throwing up) and look for bruises that I could hide with clothing. Kind of hard to hide a split lip.
I don't live that way anymore and neither do you! Nowadays I look for new wrinkles or gray hair (smile). I gladly accept the wrinkles and gray hair because back then I did not expect to see old age.
Either my drinking would do me in or I would die by my own hand.