Originally Posted by
Needabreak 
Alcohol Giving way too much power to a substance? Not quite sure what you're trying to say here, but it feels dangerous to me to post something like this on an addiction support board. One shouldn't ever play down the power of "this substance" to destroy lives, both of those who are addicted and those who love them.
I interpret aliciagr to mean that what's going on in the relationship is what's most helpful to focus on, not whether there is a substance or not. We get way too wrapped up in monitoring the substance, when it's all of the behaviors, omissions, ways of relating, etc. that are the actual problem. I think it's important to keep her point in mind. It's why sobriety, in and of itself, is just a start and why recovery is so very different than mere abstinence. She's not playing down the power of the substance, she's pointing out the importance in how we conduct ourselves in relationships.