Congratulations on 6 months M
A huge accomplishment & you should be proud of yourself! Letting go of the shame & guilt is tough but I certainly think you deserve to be free of it. I'm learning to let go....just too heavy to drag around with us. You sound like a very compassionate person (I've learned I am too), we need to treat ourselves with compassion too
you tube has ball types of meditation, I listen to the positive affirmations & anxiety meditations. You have to find ones you like & work for you, there's a lot of them I don't like but have found some that are really helpful in shifting my thinking in a positive directions. There are affirmations on self forgiveness, use head phones if you have them. You might look at mindfulness meditation also. The best to you!!! You do deserve it!