Ja3nt

Hi everyone,

Just a little back-story. I lost my dream job six months ago. Trying to quit entirely has been such a struggle. My last binge happened after I'd been interviewing over a 4 month period, with the same company. I had 5 interviews and passed two one-hour tests and it was down to myself and one other. I didn't get the job. I found this out about 3 weeks ago and haven't been able to get myself together. The depression and the crippling anxiety are so horrible that I can't deal with it some days. I am all alone, no one to help me and have to dogs that I have to take care of. This morning, my older dog had been rubbing his eyes and when I looked at them, the wrinkles in his face were irritated and raw. The thought of having to take him for another vet bill sent me into a full panic attack. Well, at least that it what it felt like. This dog means more to me than any thing on this earth and I would do what ever I have to do to help him. I literally got down on my knees and begged God to help me.

I decided after my weekend binge that I've had enough. I know that they alcohol only makes the anxiety worse. It's just to hard to let it go during the worst time in my life. So, last night was my first of stopping drinking. I couldn't sleep at all. This morning, I took a long walk with my dogs and that seemed to help. I've no insurance and going to the doc is out of the question right me.

The depression and anxiety is so crippling that I've lost 30 pounds from having no appetite. I've tried breathing techniques and can't seem to get any relief from it.

I am crying as I write this and that's a relief!! I would cry all day if I could figure out how.

I know that others have probably gone through similar phases with this. If you wouldn't mind, would you please share your stories with me? I feel so horribly alone and terrified.

Thank you for reading this. God bless.