Berrybean

I agree with Dee. Maybe this is a good time to read / reread the threads about making a plan and look at those ideas which you haven't yet tried making a part of your recovery. They could be the thing that makes the difference. If this latest relapse can be the thing that acts as the one that brings the 'gift of desperation' (as I've heard it called) to try what you have so far been reluctant to try, then good can come out of it. This thread of Dee's is one of my favourites and has helped skills many people. ...http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html

The darkest moments in my own journey were very painful, but when I look back they were also the times became catalysts for change because they gave me the gift of desperation, and made me willing to try what I'd previously point blank refused to entertain the thought of. And those things turned out to be the very things I needed (No wonder my AV fought them so hard!)

Sending prayers and love to you, with wishes for sustained sobriety and strong recovery in the near future.

BB