Hi Marker. Sounds like drinking isn't much fun anymore. You can stop this dangerous, destructive cycle anytime you want. All you have to do is put down the bottle. Within days you will begin to feel better physically and look better which will help you feel better mentally. Imagine waking up with no hangovers. Being able to talk to people coherently and remember what was said. Rediscovering things in your life that you love and bring you joy. Everyone has something or someone. Focus on the things that make you feel good (not drinking!)
But you don't have to figure it all out tonight. Just stop drinking. Maybe tomorrow you can treat yourself to your favorite non-alcoholic drink (mine's ice tea) and your favorite snack and a good movie. It's baby steps in the beginning. And that's OK.
If you have a lot of other problems like most alcoholics take an honest inventory of your life. Figure out what you can change and try to accept what you can't. If you're a praying person I believe that helps too.
I have also struggled with depression. In sobriety I have realized my problems are nothing new under the sun. Lots of people have felt or feel like I do. There's nothing unique about my issues. The best thing you can do is seek out other people who feel like you. You are making a good first step by posting here.
I quit almost a year ago and looking back I will never be back to that life. I'm lucky to have survived it. I hope you do too.
You don't have to figure everything out tonight Marker. All you have to do is pour out the booze. It's making you miserable. There's no reason not to break this cycle. If a hopeless bum like me could do it so can you. Sending a big ol' hug to you. It's time to get well. Love. Hope