Originally Posted by
HeartbrokenGuy 
It's been a month already. I don't think I can do this much longer. I'm a hot ass mess. And actually I feel very pathetic. I'm pretending that I'm ok, but really I'm not.
You're not pathetic.
You're exactly where you are supposed to be.
Do not underestimate how serious the grieving process is, and you have a whole heap of addiction-related complications on top of it. A month is just a start, my friend.
And you can stop pretending to be okay. It's just preventing you from releasing the feelings which will actually help you GET to okay. Who are you performing for? Now's the time to lean on people who can support you while you deal with all of these feelings, not to worrying about making their lives easier by pretending you don't need help.