I had to go back to your first thread. I had thought she passed from cirrhosis. I didn't know it was the result of poisoning from a bender. Is that correct? I am sorry if I'm triggering, I just didn't know so imagine this has been profoundly devastating. I say that because Abf is a frequent bender type and usually finds hotels to do them. My fear was always driven by him not surviving them and it played HUGE on my Codie side bc I imagined I was keeping him from death if I let him stay in my home. of course after enough times I just accepted that I may get the call he was found in a hotel room. I learned that me kicking him out didn't matter bc if I let him stay, the only difference would be he'd drink himself to death in my home. And yes there were times I did let him stay (hey silly brain said, I'll just babysit at least I can control it and hide things right?) and guess what? He drank just as bad and as much as he did when he found hotels to do it in.
In other words, me kicking him out didn't make any difference because he was going to drink regardless of where. I hope that makes sense and maybe helps with any guilt you are still processing. If you didn't kick her out she'd have still likely drink herself to an unfortunate fate for those 10 days , just in your house instead. When addicts are ready to do it, nothing can stop them- not even location.
Anyhow keep up with therapy. Guilt is something everyone faces in the grieving process, but with us that is going to be a million times over. Sounds like you are really making progress and learning. Kudos to you.