I guess the part I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around is after working for months on trying to fix the relationship to find out that he'd been lying and still actively drinking, all the time we spent was meaningless. And after being lied to for so long I'm not sure what to believe anymore.
I would believe this………..the man wants out of the marriage.
He now says that he loves me but only as a friend and isn't in love with me. And wants to pursue a divorce. I found this out at the last therapy session I attended with him. I've refused to meet him or attend any therapy with him since.
Do I just wait it out and see how he feels after more therapy and sobriety or do I give him what he wants?
What is there to wait out, He has told you he wants a divorce and the marriage counselor says they wouldn’t have seen you as a couple if they knew he was actively drinking, he’s still actively drinking and he doesn’t want to be married any longer so how would a “marriage” counselor help?
Maybe when he asked for a separation back in January he knew he wanted out and just went through the motions of marriage counseling to appease you, elevate his guilt, build up the courage to end it for good, figure out if ending it was really what he wanted and then he made his decision.
Maybe think about counseling just for you to help you work through the array of emotions surrounding this painful situation.