First time dealing with a relapse
My husband who is an alcoholic, asked for a separation in January. After moving out, he agreed to attend marriage counseling. We attended once a week from Feb till April. One morning in April, he showed up and said he couldnt do it anymore and was only coming back for the kids. In the ensuing arguement, he admitted that hed been drinking heavily since he moved out. Up until about 6 months ago, he'd been sober for 10 years. I refused to let him have physical custody of the kids until he can be sober. So for the past two weeks he says he's been sobe, attending aa, and individual counseling. He now says that he loves me but only as a friend and isn't in love with me. And wants to pursue a divorce. I found this out at the last therapy session I attended with him. I've refused to meet him or attend any therapy with him since. Our marriage counselor acknowledged that he wouldn't have been seeing us for the past few months if he'd known that my husband was still actively drinking.
I don't know what to believe anymore. Do I just wait it out and see how he feels after more therapy and sobriety or do I give him what he wants? I'm having a hard time looking my kids in eyes and telling them that they can't be with their daddy because I don't trust him to keep them safe.