Fts,
You are looking for someone to love you. Hon, you need to take the time, without someone, and learn to love yourself. To accept you, and love you. Being "alone", is healthy for us after a disfunctional life/marriage.
Thirty four years with axh, and I am still recognizing how crazy I was, 2 1/2 years later. I did not want to give myself to someone before I spent time alone. My dog died in August, and I always had a dog. I still have not gotten another one. I need to step back from life and get my shxt together. I am glad I did it. I needed to just take care of me and only me. It's ok, not to be "loved".
Don't rush into another relationship before you take this time to regroup. Healing takes time, it does not happen over night. Hugs my friend, you are not alone.