Yes, it is ******** that every cruel behavior is blamed on drinking, and some stuff is just cruel!
If anyone reading this thinks that they will ultimately be satisfied by the "amends" process, I'd say that's 5% of us.
There is drunken misbehavior and there is ******* behavior. It's not all one and the same...
I've had horrible things spoken to me by angry men already deep in recovery.
We are only victimized when we open to hold hurt! Our work is to grow strong & to trust ourselves! There are drunken assholes & sober assholes! Male hurters & female hurters. We just need to build community & trust our instincts! Sobriety does not automatically make people kind.
Some people just aren't kind. And many people are! And sometimes we reduce everything to alcoholism or addiction, but that is as much a coping mechanism as anything...
It is all so much more complicated than that...