In Process of Kicking out - Advice!
My AH and I have been married for 14 years. We have two very precious elementary aged children. We also own a business together.
In the last four years AH has become a high-functioning alcoholic. He functions very well at work , but the second he heads home he gets drunk. He has become 100% completely unreliable in our personal lives. I feel I have had to turn into an only mom, only house-caretaker, working machine, etc.
In the last month or so, I finally came to the epiphany that our two children and I don’t deserve to live through hell like this. I kicked him out of the house this past week. I told him he couldn’t come back unless he could prove he was clean. Coincidentally, he was going on an out-of-the country work trip that day and he left with only a small suitcase. Also his car was in the shop and now I have it at our house too.
So technically, I’ve kicked him out, but we are still in this limbo state, because he hasn’t actually “moved-out” yet. I think he thought I would just give in and let him come back home at the end of the work trip. I know letting him come back home is a bad idea. I do plan to pack the rest of his clothes, put them in his car, and give him his car keys, and somehow find a way to get his car parked somewhere that isn’t our house.
In the mean time, I’m battling his texts and comments and hoping to avoid giving him any options to try to return home right now. How do I know it is safe to let him come back home? He swears he hasn’t drank since he left (I would like to believe him, but don’t think I should). He is already asking to come back home on Monday. He states there is no way to prove that he isn’t drinking if I don’t see him every night. He is consistently asking me how long he has to be gone. He is now saying I’m not supporting him and I’m abandoning him, and that if I really am not letting him come home it is because i don’t love him - maybe anger or drinking again?
I’m guessing these are typical, but don’t know how to handle it all. I guess everything is coming to a T and could use any support and/or advice on how to handle this.
Thank you!