honeypig

Was wondering that myself, dandy. ETA: Just read HBG's post, good, doesn't sound like it's out of control.

I don't have any direct experience w/guilt in the way that you are experiencing it, but I do have experience with losing dearly beloved dogs over the years. I've struggled with feelings of disloyalty and guilt when I'm looking for a new one after my old friend has gone on beyond. What has always gotten me over the hump is to think "what would my last dog have wanted, if he could tell me now? Would he have wanted me to cry alone over his memory, or would he have wanted me to go get another canine brother out of the shelter to share love and ridiculousness with?" What would be the best way to honor his memory?

I know you loved her while she was with you, and I have to think that she loved you too, to the extent that she was able. If she was able to talk to you now, from a place of being whole and healed, what do you think she'd say? I think it's likely that she'd want you to continue to grow and learn and find some joy, and in time, find love again.

I hope this softball thing turns out to be a whole lot of fun for you!