I get it Free. And I know you know his drinking and his emotional abuse and control issues are separate things and he can't address the latter. You have been badly damaged by this person (I refuse to call him a "man"). You WILL recover - I know this bc you are very SMART and very aware of what's going on. But you MUST extract yourself from him in order to start your recovery process. Even once divorced, he will still try and be in control of you. It's like that is his LIFE to control your every move and feeling! I pray you have a good therapist to help you through this extraction process and you must establish new rules (=boundaries) with him. Focus on #1YOU, #2CHILDREN, #3WONDERFULNEWCAREER! ((((HUGS))))