Like seriously Free?
So, here I am. At our local state park. The evening is just a spectacle of beauty. And i have my daughters with me. In the distance I can hear their giggles and happiness.
Ah is at a sweat. A native American ceremony with some guys from AA.
I know that it's over between us. Like i totally get that. please understand that i get it.
But it's not f-ing fair. I mean, why? Why is it the DRINKING and not, "maybe I should get some help with the way i treat my wife"
Perhaps during the inventory that could be addressed!! Hint hint jerkwad!! I've been here the whole damn time. Fighting for ever damn inch.
I am just so hurt...and I know that no matter what, I'm always going to be the W word, the C word, the wrecker, the liar..... and the DRINKING or not drinking is NEVER going to change that.
I'm so beyond broken that I don't really think i could ever find love again. I mean, i guess I've never really had love to begin with. Not even for myself until relatively recently.
Yes, im sure most would say, don't even WORRY about that now free..but damn it, I would make a fine wife and I'm loyal as hell, and I'm not half bad looking, and i want my shot at something that is tangibly love. I think i deserve that... and i feel like my A has f'd me up beyond beliefs... and now he's REALLY getting sober??? Load of BS!
My feelings are hurt and I wish that I was important enough to someone ....
And this is not negative self talk...this is reality.