I think it’s in what you said……
I should be happy I dodged a bullet. But instead I’ve been depressed for months. It’s not like he was a good friend or boyfriend. He lied about not answering messages a lot. He was hiding a drug problem. He was very unreliable.
I guess I got attached and really loved him.
His family was so great too and I really bonded with them. It’s hurt me very badly.
You clearly see that you dodged a bullet, you clearly see he lied to you and you even state he was not a good boyfriend or even a friend…………..so what’s the hook that has you unable to let go? That’s the question that you need to answer in order to set yourself free.
His roommate told you that before you came along there were no other woman and his mother told you that you were the longest girlfriend he’d ever had………do you think that made you feel very special and significant to him?
When you found prescription medication with other people names on it you said you didn’t want to believe it even though you saw the evidence………….did you feel that if you confronted him on it that the relationship would immediately be over?
Discovering what the hook is will help you begin to set this relationship free and not make similar mistakes in the future.
Did you want a BF so badly that you closed your eyes to obvious red flags?
Did you want that great kind of a relationship with a BF’s family?
Did you think you could help him, fix him and support him through all of his issues?
What about your family, is there alcoholism/addiction? Do you all get along?
What exactly are you holding onto about this guy? Tell us what was so great and loving that has you still hooked and unable to let go months and months after it ended?