I become someone else..
So ive had a problrm with self medicating my anxiety and Depersonalization with alcohol for 4 years now. Ive gotten better though. I went from a pint a night to only drinking on weekends...but the thing is i want to stop drinking all together...so all week ill be sober and tell myself im not going to drink this weekend...but friday night comes and its like my mind is taken over by another entity... And it drags me to the liquor store..completely ignoring and throwing my weekly plans of not drinking on weekends right out the window...it scares me that i cant control myself...like ive had problem for a while but its never been so real to me now....like before i drank every night...and that was how it was... But now that i find some self control..i fear how the weekend comes and its like i have no say in the matter...its scary and i just needed to grt it off my chest.