I become someone else..

Old 04-30-2017, 01:33 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 24
I become someone else..

So ive had a problrm with self medicating my anxiety and Depersonalization with alcohol for 4 years now. Ive gotten better though. I went from a pint a night to only drinking on weekends...but the thing is i want to stop drinking all all week ill be sober and tell myself im not going to drink this weekend...but friday night comes and its like my mind is taken over by another entity... And it drags me to the liquor store..completely ignoring and throwing my weekly plans of not drinking on weekends right out the scares me that i cant control ive had problem for a while but its never been so real to me before i drank every night...and that was how it was... But now that i find some self control..i fear how the weekend comes and its like i have no say in the matter...its scary and i just needed to grt it off my chest.
khyzer35 is offline  
Old 04-30-2017, 01:50 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 12
That was me. I never drank every day, but I was like you in that I would routinely lose any willpower not to drink on a Friday or Saturday. And, like you, I found it to be very scary. However, I FINALLY understood that drinking on the weekend was making me feel awful almost all week, so I stopped. Now, I look forward to my sober weekends and waking up Sunday and Monday not feeling like crap.
JSerra is offline  
Old 04-30-2017, 01:58 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Renew12's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 176
Future tripping, fear of the unknown, fear of not getting something we want, fear of losing something we have are all common to many alkie~addicts. Accepting each 24 hrs for what they are. Educate yourself about AVRT.

You have the power to not drag yourself to the liquor store. You can make healthy choices. Separate you, from the other voice in your head. That's the beast. It wants you to suffer, to add to your anxiety, fears. You can sit with uncomfortable, thoughts, feelings, physical & emotional pain. You can get through the anxiety with out self medicating. Alcohol will only offer a short relief. Than anxiety will implode.

If all else fails, find an HP and utilize in times of weakness. Or do both. Surround yourself with other alkies~addicts. Alcohol isn't a reward for the alcoholic. It's toxic. It poison's every organ, our blood, our cells. It crushes our hopes and dreams. It's a wild, vicious animal. It's plans are to kill us and the people we love.

It causes pain to ourselves and others. It keeps us from being healthy, effective people. You do have a say in this matter. It's always a choice. You can choose one of two paths. You can choose the healthy one.

You can do this!... Become the person your meant to be.
Renew12 is offline  
Old 04-30-2017, 03:02 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 24
Thank you for taking time to reply! I needed what you wrote!
khyzer35 is offline  
Old 04-30-2017, 03:57 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by khyzer35 View Post
..but friday night comes and its like my mind is taken over by another entity... And it drags me to the liquor store..completely ignoring and throwing my weekly plans of not drinking on weekends right out the window.
This was me everyday for decades. While at work everyday with a hangover, I would tell myself several times throughout the day that I was going to go straight home and be good.

Then on my way home I would still be thinking I didn't want to drink but I would always stop and get booze - it was so automatic - like my mind couldn't control what my body craved, or maybe my body couldn't stop doing what my alcoholic mind was telling it to do.

Today I am 188 days sober and glad I am out of that downward spiral into hell.
Doug39 is offline  
Old 04-30-2017, 05:05 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,707
Hi Khyzer

I used to refer to it as another entity too - but it's not.

It's a part of me - but a part with no higher levels of has no arms no legs...

it meeds you to go to the store, buy booze come lack and open it.

If you refuse to co-operate at ant point - it's flummoxed..there's nothing it can do.

It will throw a tantrum probably,....but you're the aduly not the toddlr - it will wear itself out soon enough.

Make a plan for next weekend - a plan to not drink - think ahead of time about what you could do to ensure you stay sober

Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-30-2017, 07:50 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
waynetheking's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Don't ever drink again. One more time, DON'T EVER DRINK AGAIN!
That's how to solve all your problems with this disease.
Get a plan and don't drink. The AV gets weaker and you get stronger. Period.
waynetheking is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:10 PM.