It won't be like this forever....I know that is hard to imagine but the hard part of sobriety is up front. We are physiologically wired to repeat habits, our brain actually transfers behaviors that we repeat to a separate part of our brain to free up frontal lobe space. That is why changing behaviors feels so physically uncomfortable.
When we want to change our bodies, we go to the gym and perform certain exercises to produce certain results. We can feel the burn and in time we see the results. Breaking a habit is like taking your brain to the gym..simply by resisting you are forcing your neurological wiring to shift.
If it feels like a warm bath in early sobriety chances are you are using the part of your brain that is a well worn groove. That tension and anxiety you feel because you are doing something differently is a really good thing...you are actually causing a circuit break in that unhealthy habit.
We become really used to immediate gratification as addiction progresses. Our brain calls for something and we rush to obey. Understanding that you don't need to obey cues that are unhealthy is freeing. It gets easier and easier and soon there will be hours that go by without thinking about drinking, then a half day, and a full day. The hardest part is what you are going through right now.
You faced a tough challenge tonight and tomorrow you will wake up feeling good, great job!!