ABSOLUTELY sounds familiar. My pattern of use was similar to yours. I made several attempts at quitting, would get a month sober here and there, but would always turn back to booze when the going got tough. My withdrawals were bad, too. Hospitalized twice with seizures trying to quit. Finally, I almost screwed up badly at work, a really good job that I've had for a long time and did not want to lose. I just gave up. Went to inpatient rehab last April, then a 6-week outpatient program. I just couldn't do it alone. Best thing I've ever done.