Originally Posted by
Nata1980 
Sorry if I am too blunt - but you don't love him - you are addicted to idea of what could have been and use a few good moments of intermittent reinforcement as a back up story.
)
Thank you for this. It hit me like a sledgehammer to the chest. I feel like it knocked by breath out but it is also exactly what I needed to hear.
I have been doing this and I need to stop