On one of the other forums I belong to, a member posted how she almost gave up her months of sobriety because she opened the door in her mind just a crack. She grabbed a cold one from the fridge for her hubby last night and almost thought she could enjoy one herself, but better sense prevailed! After letting the moment pass, she grabbed a SanPellegrino instead, disaster averted! And she attributed that thinking to not checking in on her support system daily. Two things came to mind as I read her post. I’ll deal with the second thing first.
I’ve been asked on all 3 of the forums I belong to why I do what I do. Why do I check in everyday even with 2+ years of sobriety? The biggest reason I do it is to give back, give back the help and support that I got when I was struggling to find my final quit. Just maybe someone will read what I’ve said right when they need it most, or my story will sound so similar to what someone else is going through and they might get the idea that if I quit, they could too! And I’ll tell you, everyone can quit and stay quit if they want it as bad as I did. Also, by checking in each morning, I’m making a commitment to myself, I’ll try and get through the day sober because today is all I have to worry about. I know that if I gave up on my commitment, it wouldn’t be long before I’d start figuring that I could return to being a normal drinker. So by starting the day knowing and telling myself that I just have to get through today without drinking, I’ve planted that sober thought in my head and can fall back on it if needed. Sobriety is something we work towards every single day, not just a hit and miss kind of thing!
Now, as to thinking I could have a cold one then continue being sober tomorrow? Not a chance! I would never stop at just one! I don’t drink for the taste, I don’t drink to be social, I drink for the buzz, I drink to get drunk! So, I could go on a one night drunken binge and then start over tomorrow because I’ve proved to myself I can do it! Or have I? I’ve proved to myself that I can get through today, I’ve proved to myself that I can go 2+ years without drinking, but I haven’t proved to myself that I could quit again if I slipped or relapsed! And I’m just not willing to take that chance……..