Please, tell me it does get easier...
Six days now and man, what a roller coaster... Panic after panic that I am not going to make it. That I am going to drink, sooner than I think... Coming here to post, frantic, reading some very nice posts and things get easier, calmer in a way and then! Bing, another out of control sense of being episode, I'll never make it, I'll never make it... Tonight, just trying. Must stop judging whichever direction this takes me... I guess. I am so afraid to say that this time, it feels different. After so many relapses that were after the "This time, I mean it" monologue. This time around, I am more suspicious than before. Is it because I am giving up on myself, slowly but surely? Alcohol sure was a great solution to tell my crazy mind to just shut up, be quiet...