Originally Posted by
Berrybean 
Me too. Way I see it with my old drinking buddy, at the moment I don't have anything he wants and he doesn't have anything I want. All he wants is someone to listen to him go over and over the problem. But ultimately he wants to carry on drinking without the consequences of drinking. The day he contacts me to say he's ready to start talking about the solution I'll be there, but for now, he doesn't get a seat at my table. He's sick, and I have to remember that I have a low immunity for that kind of stuff myself and stay away from slippery people and places.
Might sound harsh to some. The people who think that are welcome to go listen to his drunken or hungover self-pity record on repeat if they believe that will help him. I don't belive for one second it does anything to help him while he still wants to drink, and I value my sobriety too much to jeopardy it.
BB
I guess I've been doing it wrong - my old "drinking buddies" are not toxic to me in the least. They respect my decision and have been nothing but supportive. It's a bit different dynamic than some, since we work in health care, but we have an honest caring for each other that transcends any drinking we did together. Since quitting, I have attended a wedding and a cookout, and was totally comfortable not drinking. One thing I've learned is that people that are drinking seldom care whether you are.