All kinds of crazy came out my mouth whilst i was still drinking Stu, don't be a hard judge on yourself. Us alcoholics do beat ourselves up over fighting this killer.
Change is possible, you're still young and could have the greatest love of your life yet to have
If house ownership is involved then you will need to talk to a lawyer and get things delt with legally and tidied up ..
Start making changes , start by getting sober ...
doing and saying the same old, same old will give you the same old, same old .
you might not feel like doing it , you might not find it easy, thats true for most things worthwhile in life.
m