Well. i think this thread has indeed run its course at this point. As far as my feedback goes anyway. My final takeaway is this:
Many years ago i sought out some kind of forum like this one just to read up on what those post alcohol experience, etc... i was led to livingsobersucks and as a result gained the perspective you might imagine. I gave up and thought, well, if living sober sucks, then i guess i better practice managing this.
Then when i searched again I found this site. I've learned here that perspective couldn't be farther from the truth and when i am ready to give it up it probably won't be so bad. The fact that so many here seem to be 'recovered' and actually happier is a great thing to know is possible down the line.