I have problems making up my mind about this thread. One part of me thinks the lifestyle you're trying to maintain sounds extremely uneasy, exhausting and quite dangerous to be honest.
Another part of me is jealous that you who calls himself an alcoholic still can drink. I am not much jealous of normal drinkers who drink cause I think they don't get the same out of it like alcoholics do. And I don't envy their style of drinking. But part of me always hoped I could drink like my dad does. He drinks 1-2 bottles of wine a day, never hungover, never drinking during the day, never drinking to pass out and apparently he doesn't even have any health issues. He's been doing that for the past 30 years already and it looks like it works for him. To me that's alcoholic drinking and the addicted part in me whishes I had gotten away with it for longer, too.