Glad you're going to a meeting. This should help you clear your head from all that gaslighting and blame shifting that he's been doing, and feel stronger in sticking to your boundaries .
I don't know if you've found the Friends and Family area on here yet. If not it's worth having a read around in there, and maybe even double posting your original post there. There are many wise folk over in that area who have walked this path before you who can offer their experience, strength and hope to you.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I hope things look better soon.
BB
PS your husband may even believe that YOU made him drink. This is classic denial. Once we get sober we realise that pretty much everything made us drink. From it being sunny, or snowy, or Saturday, or Friday or Tuesday, our team winning, or losing, being late for something, or early, being flush, or being skint, being in love, or being heartbroken. An alcoholic who still thinks alcohol is any kind of answer to anything will find some reason or another to drink. At the moment you are a convenient excuse. It's bull. You didn't cause him to drink. He just doesn't necessarily understand that while he's still active in his drinking (drunk or sober).