Hi Lucky and welcome to SR. We're here for you. Ask us anything that will help you combat the disease. The key to a sober life is not drinking. So don't drink. Sounds simple and it really is. Get all the info you can about alcoholism. Remember it's a deadly disease. If left untreated it will eventually kill you. Make no mistake about it.
Join a support group. Come here every day. Don't drink. As time passes, you won't obsess about getting drunk. Trust us, it gets much easier with time.
Hang in there, and don't drink.