Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
welcome! so sorry about the latest relapse....i know what the other side of a coke spinner feels like. couldn't hate life more. and yet somehow you reached out here, to SR.
time to regroup, i guess? get back to what WAS working, and figure it what wasn't. you sound like one of those classic "under" achievers!!! 2nd masters, changing countries, getting married, new career. any one of those can be overwhelming. all of them can seem insurmountable if you pile them atop each other.
i hope you stay around. for what it's worth, i'm real!! and i do care!
thanks for your super cool response! yeah the plan now is defintely re group. focus on the things which make me feel alive - horseriding, the sea, nature etc. Ive always been cautious of online 'help' sites as years ago I used to go to one and it was an awful site, with very angry people who seemed to join to create drama and express their unhappiness in life through negativity and bullyish behaviours towards others and I got sucked into it too, taking out my negativity on others, being the coward behind the screen who seems to forget that theyre talking to just a normal human being with normal human problems, encouraging a very nasty and high school atmosphere - just very bitchy. I revelled in it at the time, putting other people down and it's not me that. i did my first masters in psycology which doesnt make me a professional or anything lol but it does make you realise that when you take pleasure in putting other people down it's because it's the only pleasure you can really derive for yourself at that time in your life. It's the classic - misery loves company.
So I was apprehensive to post but thought what the hell. Since then been reading other people's posts and this is a very supportive place. Seems to be, so will stick aorund a bit longer - and hopefully can write another long ass rant style post in the future about my successes and not my failures
