Originally Posted by
bubita 
Thank you Ina123, I'll continue... is the road up and down? I was excited and full of power until now that I feel low. I feel a bit paranoid...is that something others feel too? Maybe now I feel my emotions? I was too numb before? I feel a bit flat...
Bubita - I think we all have struggles like that- they seem to come and go. When my normal methods don't help with the urge to drink (HALT, play it forward, wait 10 minutes, come on here and read) I tell myself that I spent at least 12 years drinking heavily, so I should give sobriety the same chance. If I still feel the same in 12 years, maybe I'll have a drink, but it's only fair that I give it the same chance I gave drinking!
I'm lucky that this time around I haven't been hit too hard - nice weather seems to be a trigger for me - it was a big one last time around. This time I seem to know that I need to do it forever and moderation won't work and drinking again is no fun. I had to fall a few times to figure that out though. I definitely wouldn't recommend it! I say it a lot on here but I'm a big believer in the gratitude lists. I do the morning post every day, and then I add a few extra on days I'm feeling low. Remembering everything I have now that I'm sober, and everything I have to lose seems to shake any thoughts of drinking for me.