Thank you everyone.
I want to say a lot but I usually put foot in mouth when trying to ask questions, or share some of my feelings.
I will just ask one question:
I shared with my therapist that even though we have worked on the issue of low self esteem.. mine still has not rebounded. I used to feel so put together and confident. So much has happened this past year. Ive felt so many negative feelings about myself.. part was from the disrespectful behaviors I put up with in my own home. part was from the stigma I felt being associated with violence, addiction, sickness, the criminal side of the legal system (as the wife of a man who...). Part comes from hiding what happened, from negative feedback I get from his parents, even negative feedback here hurts me sometimes or I should say makes me feel "dumb". I didnt even know how to label what I was feeling at first, and my therapist helped me to understand its all in how I perceive myself and my own self worth.,
Is this something other family members have dealt with? Should I start a new thread ?
Ive discussed it with my husband, and we have had some very open and intense discussions. He is also still in pain at how low he went and the shameful and disgusting things he did. He said it leaves your sense of self respect and self esteem in the dirt.