I will start with Welcome to SR, you came to a great place for help...
now, it sounds to me there is something running deeper than just a few drunk nights a year, a spouse should be supportive no matter what, have you wrote how you feel about this situation yet? have you considered talking to him sober to hear what his issues/concerns are? and I don't know what to suggest about your daughter, I don't drink excessively around my children, but my dad use to drink heavily when I was young, and he would say sorry, and he would tell me he would try to be better for us.
I hope that helps.