Thanks for all the responses and input!
To answer a few of your questions:
No she is not currently going to AA. In the begining she went to 4-5 meetings and stopped saying she didnt like the group she was meeting with and never went back. She used to send me her "days sober tracker" but that wore off after awhile.
I have not been to Alanon yet but am looking for a meeting to go to asap as that seems to be a uniform comment I am hearing and you all know alot more than I.