It is so nice to finally not feel like I am alone! It also makes me sad to realize that there are so many of us! Hugs and good vibes to all of you.
I know I won't tell my family. Maybe his though. But to be honest they are the type to ignore and hope it goes away. As for friends well besides the two close ones who think he quit I really don't have many close enough to talk to. I realized I kinda pushed everyone away. I can't blame him for that totally though.
Someone asked about why I count how many he has had...I think I feel better knowing how many he has had so I can try to judge how he'll act. If he is in the angry and fighting stage He blames me for most of what is wrong on our lives. He isn't always angry and wanting to fight but I feel like the potential is there. I also count so I know how much is left for him to drink the next day. He doesn't drink and drive so if he is out he isn't getting more.