When I was struggling w/ending things, someone here said to me "sure, it's hard to end things when you still have feelings for him, but is it really better to wait until you hate him to leave?"
It was a much-needed slap in the head for me.
And when I wondered if XAH was actually in recovery or just faking it again, another wise member here wrote this:
We live on a lake and have ospreys and eagles that come 'round. When they are on the hunt, there is NO doubt about their intentions...they hover above, they swoop and swirl and then DIVE after their prey. It is magnificent and silent. They have a purpose and have no NEED to announce their plan. They are unconcerned with the world around them....for the eagle there is always the attendant "murder" of crows, dive bombing, harassing, relentless...they are honed in on their goal.
Recovery is the osprey, tucking its wing in close to its body, a missile now, a projectile diving in a straight line towards the water, seeing beneath the surface to the fish.
So when you wonder about your AH and his recovery, ask yourself if this is what you see him doing.
And regardless of whether he does it or not, you can do it--in fact, you need to do it.