Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
There's no such thing as an "AA professional"--maybe it's some ACTUAL professional who works with alcoholics?
Believe me, you didn't cause any of this--the drinking, the abuse. Nobody knows what causes alcoholism, but it isn't stress. Some people seem to be alcoholic almost from their first drink, while others work up to it. But either way, it's not a result of a stressful environment.
I lived with my second husband for only about 10 months before we separated, and I divorced him the next year. He'd gone back to drinking after a BRIEF period of sobriety (following an incident where he almost died when his liver/kidneys shut down due to drinking). I'd been married to an alcoholic before, and knew enough about it to know I didn't want to go there again. There is no shame in admitting that things did not work out as you'd hoped. None. And how much better than to waste five or more years of your life dealing with fear and misery.
After you've gotten some guidance on safety issues, I strongly suggest you consult a lawyer. You need to know how to protect yourself legally/financially until you decided what you want to do. I wouldn't give up that great job if you can possibly help it. I don't know whose name is on the lease/deed of your home, but depending on where you live, you might be eligible for a protective order that would allow you to remain in the home while he has to go elsewhere. It would also prohibit him from having any contact with you. Just an option to keep in mind as you are thinking about what you want to do.
I'm glad you have an aunt nearby.
Try not to worry about what his family thinks. You're right--he may throw you right under the bus and claim you're crazy, there's nothing wrong with him. If he does, that tells you a whole lot about the prospects for a future with him right there.
Thank you so much for this advice and support generally. I definitely plan to keep my job and stay there as long as possible before I make the decision to move back to my home state. I hope to move back within a year or two, but for now I have to think of the short-term.
My husband has anger issues stemming from childhood to begin with. He was on anti-depressants by the age of 7 and it sounds like his whole childhood was troubled. He is extremely emotional and cannot stand anything sad or emotionally charged. He is a kind person when he is not mad, but he is frequently mad, so everything goes out the window.
Even though we have traveled and had our fun times, the past year has been utter hell. I gained 30 pounds since our wedding and it is very noticeable. My skin has broken out in acne like a pre-pubescent teenager's. My eyes are more sunken in and people have noticed I look really tired and different. But I still keep posting a ton of photos on facebook and no one except my family and the few close friends in the know could even begin to guess that this is happening.
I know I need to leave, but I am not completely financially secure and feel so alone here.
I think the intervention may make the decision for me and he may choose to leave me. He certainly threatens it several times a week. Hopefully his parents will understand that the trash he talks about me is coming from his alcoholism and anger.
I am glad you got out of your abusive marriages. I hate how stigmatized divorce is. And I feel like I will be a laughing stock for divorcing after just a year when I posted so many lovey dovey things.