Good Morning Scaredwife, I don't post often anymore but I do come to the forum and read and sometimes a story really hits me deep inside. Yours is one of those stories and I have to say that your situation sounds so scary. Your husband has a lot of work to do on himself , he has a long journey ahead , and chances are, if you stay , you will probably be a target of his rage and his violent , unacceptable behavior.
You also have a journey ahead of you, a journey of your own recovery , this forum is an excellent place for you to be, the members here care, they have incredible insight and experience , and I know they will be here for you for a long time if you want to do some of your recovery here. Sometimes when we are confused and scared it is best that we listen to and act on the loving experience of others.
Your situation sounds so intense and very dangerous, I think it is best that his parents are going to handle this, and what is important is that you are in a safe place to begin to focus on your own recovery so that you are able to move forward in your own life and realize that a relationship with this man will just continue to traumatize you, his recovery will be years and years in the making, if he so chooses, you have no control over it, but yours is right in the palm of your own hand and hopefully your priority.
You are a smart and wonderful woman and you deserve this time to recover and live the life that makes you happy. As co dependents one of the most difficult lessons we learn is that the only life we can change is our own, it's the greatest gift we can give ourselves.
Keep posting if you can, I know that the members here will be concerned and at the ready to help in anyway they can.