August 10th wee hours of the morning I
rolled in from a club under the influence
of alcohol, had another argument with
husband then told him I would just leave
this world and his response was to just
go to sleep.
When he left the room I grab a bunch
of pills downed with alcohol and off to
bed I went never giving thought to my
kids last day of bible school that day.
Never thinking about the consequences
of my actions and how it would affect my
family.
That morning, my 2 babies, 3 and 6 tried
to wake me without success. Then, in a
far distance I heard a bell ringing which
in turn was my phone ringing next to my
bed.
I awoke, grabbed the phone with my
motherinlaw asking where I was with
the kids. My response was with a slurred
voice barely able to speak then hearing
her yelling for me to get up and out of
the bed.
So I did, staggering to the bathroom to
throw up as much as I could that was in
my system so I could get moving.
Before I knew it my husband was home
trying to haul me to the car to take me
to the hospital to get my stomach pumped
but fought him off with every ounce of
strength I could till he backed off.
Before I knew it the house was quiet.
Then not long after that there was
2 officers in my kitchen as my husband
told me that they were there to take me
to the hospital to get evaluated for my
state of mind and taking those pills.
I didn't have much choice at that moment
before I was escorted by the officers to the
back seat of their car. To get there I had to
to first pass both my father in law and husband
as they stood at the back door. In passing both of
them, I glared at them both and told them with
so much hatred in my voice and daggers in my
eyes that I hated them both and off I walked.
After getting in the car, I felt so much anger,
resentment, like a common criminal, yet
vunerable to where I wouldn't hurt a flee.
No little ol me.
After I arrived, where, I had no idea, i
did speak to a phyciatrist and they wanted
to keep me over night for further evaluation
the next day.
I was scared, yet I did what was asked of me
as I prepared for the night. After eating supper,
I remember walking around where other
patients were feeling sad and scared as I
watched them shuffle across the floor, mumbling,
hugging the wall....just sad....and thinking that
I surely wasnt that far gone as they were.
Sure enough, the next day I passed all their
test given and was told I just had a drinking
problem or in other words, addiction to a
toxic substance, alcohol.
Whew, I said to myself. So the next step
was that they wanted me to remain in
rehab for 2 weeks learning about my
addiction and receive a program of recovery
I would learn to incorporate in all my
affairs once I returned home.
Those first 2 weeks I learning, getting
the fog cleared and opening my mind to
healthier ways to live my life without the
dependency of alcohol.
At home, my husband removed all the
alcohol out of the home and my kids were
both being taken care of so I could focus
on the task at hand in rehab.
2 weeks came and they told me my time
was up but was not ready to return home
because they believed I would surely drink
again and wanted to send me to a halfway
house further away from my babies for 6
weeks.
I begged with them to let me stay were I
was and would do whatever I needed to
do to complete a 28 day instay with a 6
week outpatient aftercare program before
I was released and they did, thank God.
August 11, 1990 was my first full day
sober and is still my sobriety birthday
some 26 yrs later.
I took what they taught me and did
what ever I needed to do all to the best
of my sober ability to get off that merry
go round of addiction insanity and made
some healthy changes in my life one day
at a time to get me where I am today.
Healthy, Happy, Honest and Free of my
addiction to alcohol.
This is my experience with rehab and
am one of many who have found success
in living a life of recovery and hope it
will be of some help to you.
It was my family who sought help for
me when I wasn't capable of getting the
help I so desperately needed in my life
at that time.
For them, I am grateful because without
their help I'm sure I would have continued
on killing myself if not succeeded by now
as sad it may sound.
Alcoholism, addiction is a sickness, illness,
disease that affects everyone involved.