As you have been told over and over, you can't fix her stuff.
This is particularly true because she doesn't want to be fixed, she wants to be miserable and she wants it always to be your fault. If you had magical powers to make her quit smoking with the wave of your wand that still wouldn't please her, because the smoking isn't the point. Making you suffer is.
Take yourself and the kids out of there for two weeks. See how well she gives up an addiction when there's no one else there to blame.