Hi and welcome to SR, sorry for what’s brought you here but you are among many who understand.
I know for me for a long time I had to too right and prove them wrong. I think part of that was I not wanting anyone to try to manipulate me or make me out to be a fool or look stupid. Al-anon really helped me work thought all of that and to where I can allow so much more to roll off my back and not feel I need to engage in every situation.
I've known her my entire life and she manipulates every situation back to making our entire family (her parents/my grandparents especially) ooh and ah over her every sensitivity. She is wealthy, has no responsibilities yet life is too much for her and we need to handle everything related to her with kid gloves. In my family if she lies we are all supposed to sit there and nod along,
Park of the way your family deals with her is enabling for it to continue YET they don’t seem to get as angry as you by allowing it to roll off their backs and just nod, seems they have accepted her for how and who she is where you may be still hoping she changes into someone different.
2) my program has meant everything to me and she's still lying to get attention that is undeserved at 57 years old.
YOUR program is not going to stop her lying or who she is, your program is going to help you and only you with your reactions to her.