A woman came to visit me when I was at my lowest and in a detox centre. She told me that one day I would be able to look people in the eye and that hooked me into trying sobriety. I was at the point where I could not stand to go any lower, I just could not take it any more and I hated myself so I was willing to finally to start following the suggestions of other people who had gone before me.
Some of it I didn't like, but when it came down to the choice of do this, or go back drinking, I followed the suggestion. Not because I really wanted to, but because I was terrified of the alternative.
It took hard work and blind faith and one foot in front of the other and time before I started to feel better. Even though things do and always will still go wrong and there's upsets and various crises to deal with, it's still way better than when I was drinking. And I can look people in the eye again without feeling like the lowest of the low. I like myself now.
You can have this too.