Originally Posted by
Starangel123 
My Boyfriend lately has changed a lot. And Ive noticed hes been drinking a lot . When he buys a 24 pack guranteed it will all be drank with the 9 hours.
he seems irratible when hes not drinking and when does hes become violent in the sense that he starts throwing things.
Ive also woken up in the middle of the night to him falling on the floor and then just laying there.
Hes changed a lot towards me. Hes says I act like im his mom telling not to drink or not to go out (cause hes only going to go drink).
Tonight he got mad at me cause I said I didnt want to hang out with another couple and drink. So he threatened to leave me.
What should I do ? Is this an alcoholism problem?
If he's drinking that much - 3 to 4 days a week, the days he's not drinking he's recovering from it. So - that presents a separate issue from the one above - how to get a word in when the guy is sober ... One day off drinking doesn't = sober. It = sick.
I think it's appropriate for you to attempt a conversation - not a verbal ass whipping - about it where you express concern. If that falls on deaf ears, then your opportunities evolve into what you can do to preserve your own sanity. Another way to put that is - you're in the position to create healthy boundaries.
Is it acceptable for him to treat you the way he is? To threaten to leave because you don't want to go out and watch him get lit? Is it appropriate for him to be laying about the floor when he falls down - too drunk to get back up?
Did you move into your home together? You might ask him to leave. Or you might decide to leave. Until he addresses this - it's not going to get better. You might put this ultimatum to him. He's not going to like it, but who likes ultimatums? You're in a position to give one because he doesn't get to tell you what's okay for you to live with or not.
What I'm getting at here is that the sooner you draw the line - the sooner things will change -
for you. It is possible that he might not address his drinking for a very long time. Years. How do you want to live your life?
This isn't the kind of thing that gets better on its own and goes away. So what you
should do is up to you, but you do need to do something. Just keep in mind - you cannot control him or make him understand anything. You're in control of you and your behavior and that's where it ends.