Originally Posted by
SparkleKitty 
I don't think PuzzledHeart was advising you to say that, but to consider what you think his reaction would be if you did. But I'm not going to speak for PH, she does a great job of that herself!
But as far as boundaries go, they aren't about him, they are about you. If you don't want to be around him when he's drinking, then yes, you would walk out of dinner. You don't have to explain why. You don't have to tell people in advance of what your boundaries are. You just have to know what they are, and then uphold them when they are violated.
You know when I was going to alanon I heard boundaries explained that way and they always said and you dont even need to tell the person your boundary. I understand this part depending on the situation your in, with someone actively using and unstable telling them a boundary might set them off. But in the situation Im in right now, where currently he is stable, and we are working on our relationship as well as our own stuff.. I would tell him before establishing a rule for myself because it would be healthy for us to discuss why I felt that way, and get feedback from him. It would be really disrespectful to just walk out of dinner and say I decided to set a boundary that I wont be around you if you drink. That would be damaging to our efforts to work on marriage.