Originally Posted by
aliciagr 
I havent thought it was my place to make that kind of decision for him is the main reason. Isnt that kind of controlling behavior? Its one thing to say I wont be around you if you are drinking and then I would have to walk out of dinner if he ordered a drink to hold my ground. If I told him in advance of my boundary then I dont know if he would not drink or not. I think he would probably not order drinks anymore when we go out. It just feels wrong to put that on him because its not causing issues. If I see escalation or something then I think a boundary would be needed, see how he responded?
I don't think PuzzledHeart was advising you to say that, but to consider what you think his reaction would be if you did. But I'm not going to speak for PH, she does a great job of that herself!
But as far as boundaries go, they aren't about
him, they are about
you. If you don't want to be around him when he's drinking, then yes, you would walk out of dinner. You don't have to explain why. You don't have to tell people in advance of what your boundaries are. You just have to know what they are, and then uphold them when they are violated.