Originally Posted by
PuzzledHeart 
First, you're dealing with some really heavy stuff here Alicia. I'm glad that you're still coming back. The invitation still stands to use my name as target practice. ;-)
I want to point out in this sentence, you put yourself last. Just think about it.
In regards to the avoiding alcohol altogether, to me this makes a whole bunch of sense.
If your husband had an affair, it would be well within your rights to expect him to establish a No Contact policy with her. But it's not just "with her". Your spidey senses would be up if he started hanging out in places associated with the other woman. If he deliberately listened to "their song" after the affair was over, you would be asking yourself why he was exposing himself to that trigger.
Granted, some people are really that obtuse and they don't realize what they're doing, so what really matters is when they're confronted with their behavior. So if you confronted hypothetical husband about hanging out in the places and listening to the music associated with the affair, what matters most is his reaction. If he's truly sorry, he'll admit he was being a dolt and he won't do that again. If dismisses your feelings, if he says "Why can't I go where I want and listen to music? It's just a place. It's just a song" that is a huge warning sign, because it means that he's not doing everything in his power to make you feel safe after he's already violated your trust. He is not making your feelings a priority.
So... back to your husband. Even if the coke was the driver for his previous behavior, why would he want to associate with the alcohol that is linked to that coke?
If you said to him, "I feel very uncomfortable about the fact that you still drink because it's tied with your coke habit", how would he react? Would he dismiss you, or would he say "I'll do everything in my power to make you and our baby feel safe again" and actually follow through? Or are you concerned of what would happen if you confronted him?
Just things to think about.
I havent thought it was my place to make that kind of decision for him is the main reason. Isnt that kind of controlling behavior? Its one thing to say I wont be around you if you are drinking and then I would have to walk out of dinner if he ordered a drink to hold my ground. If I told him in advance of my boundary then I dont know if he would not drink or not. I think he would probably not order drinks anymore when we go out. It just feels wrong to put that on him because its not causing issues. If I see escalation or something then I think a boundary would be needed, see how he responded?