Smoke, your so right! I have tons of anger and resentment lying just under the skin. Until yesterday I have kept it at bay, or talked with my good friend or come here. I can't seem to let go of the hurt/anger! I am a very matter of fact type person. If something is a problem, change it! If what I do hurts someone elses feeling, well then I try to do something about it so it doesn't happen again. BUT HE/THEY just keep doing the same ***t over and over hurting everyone around them, ruining great an otherwise great relationship without regard to anyone else's feelings. I DON'T GET IT!!
**LL Ya I am mad at him and at me for getting myself into this mess AND THREE kids. I stress everyday that they will carry on the cycle. I feel like I have the wieght of the world on me to do ALL the RIGHT things so THEY DON'T end up like me or their father. How do you do that? What do you say? I try and try to be level headed, but fear and anger always take over.
He is supposed to leave today to go fishing at a lake in south GA and spend the night. He mentioned taking the boys too. Hope that he does, I really need the time to myself. (Maybe I'll go visit my Mom at another lake!) The friend that he is going with is a recovering addict. Sober for 10+ years, but as you might guess their relationship is rocky.
Thank Anns, you always seem so tranquil and calming! Wish I could be like that. Maybe one day!