Diary of a Mad Cow, Part XX: "The Moo Also Rises"
Hello Dumplings! Been long time, yes? Is maybe still couple few who remembers me and curious to know how I doing (and probable more than couple few who is like… oh no! Is that darn Cow!) Either way, for those who endure my 5,000 chapter of Cow, I here to offer update: I been sober for couple month and plus also is well on way to being free of my Rx benzo.
Now, before you start with thinking life all bubbles and cakes …it not. The benzo withdrawal is no joke. For me, it make physical part of alcohol withdrawal look like basket of kittens. But at least, every day, no matter what, I can feel I making step forward instead of spinning ‘round in my hamster wheel from hell.
I think benzo (and of course alcohols) was huge contribution to my depressions. In last couple weeks, I has felt unfamiliar warmth of a pleasant mood cracking through my darkness in tiny little slivers here and there. Is just an ember, but I tending it as though my life depend on it. Cuz it does. It my main job right now: Tend that ember, keep it safe.
So, I hopeful. … … ALRIGHT, CALM DOWN!! I say hopeful, not happy or anything! Please. I still the cynical, sourpuss cow you know and maybe love, at least little bit. 
But, I is hopeful that, as my belove friend Robot once say:
Eventually, sober life will become greater than sum of sober programming.
