I want to thank everyone for their encouraging words. It's good to know that I am not alone. My big dilemma this morning is having to face my job. They haven't heard from me since I walked off Friday after "speaking my mind " while still under the influence. It's like i'm afraid of admitting I have a problem. I know what the worst case scenario could be, I lose my job. The problem is if I keep my job my co-workers will think that the new guy is some kind of un-hinged quack, but I guess that is my pride thinking. I also don't think I can work there because I am truly ashamed of my behavior. I am mustering up the courage to give them a call just to apologize, and deal with the consequences of my actions.